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GM everyone. This is 2036, the crypto newsletter that pays you.
Hereâs what weâre serving up today đ˛: maybe youâve got some bitcoin. Maybe youâve got some ETH. Or maybe youâre still on the sidelines. What easy, no-brainer things can you do to increase your returns today?
Letâs dig in.
đĽ Todayâs meat and potatoes
Get smarter on crypto in 2 minutes

Getting started in crypto ainât always easy.
Crypto is volatile đđ. And our paranoid brains donât like it.
To fight the emotional rollercoaster, we all feel the need to do something. Anything.
ButâŚ
95% of what you do will likely be net negative
and only 5% is likely to be a net positive
So whatâs the 5%?
Here are some (easy) things you can do to make sure you actually profit from crypto:
1/ Own Bitcoin, Ether, and Solana
Hereâs why:
The biggest mistake crypto beginners make is NOT owning the majors (BTC/ETH). They want to find the ânext bitcoinâ or the next â1,000X.â So they put all their eggs in coins that have a high chance of going to 0.
But Bitcoin is the OG. Itâs like the Catholic Church - mostly devoid of innovation. Bitcoin is time-tested and has the biggest brand and network effects.
Bitcoin will protect your portfolio during periods of volatility. And when your altcoin goes down -99%, youâll be happy you had some bitcoin.
Ethereum is like New York City. Itâs the sexiest player in town. It has the most developers, the most valuable real estate (NFTs), the biggest companies (DAOs), the biggest banks (DeFi), etc.
Ethereum is where large institutional players will find higher returns than bitcoin.
And Solana is everyone elseâs favorite altcoin. Itâs overcome its ties to FTX and no longer suffers from downtime. Itâs fast, cheap, and home to an increasing number of cool games and apps.
A portfolio of those three will expose you to most of the upside of crypto and protect you from most of the downside.
If bitcoin can 5-10X during the bull market, Ether can 10-20X, and Solana can 100X (not financial advice).
We like a 45/45/10 split between the 3.
2/ Stake your ETH and SOL on Lido
Staking is a way to earn yield (= dividend) on your tokens by securing the network.
We explain it in detail here.
And the easiest way to do it is also the most popular: with Lido.
Lido lets you stake your ETH and SOL for a âź4% and âź7% annual yield, respectively.
Itâs what all the big investors are doing with their coins.
3/ Secure your coins
20% of all bitcoin in circulation has been lost. And even OG collectors get hacked and lose their NFTs.
So either:
store your coins in the Coinbase Vault OR
store them on a hardware wallet
Alternatively, if:
you donât want to store your coins yourself
donât care about sovereignty (too much)
but you want price exposure to cryptoâŚ
⌠you can also buy the Canadian Bitcoin and Ether ETFs directly in your brokerage account (BTCC and ETHH, respectively).
Crypto fanatics donât like ETFs (ânot your keys, not your coinsâ) - but weâre here to make money - so whatever works for you.
And youâre feeling friskyâŚ
4/ Bet on regulatory arbitrage in the US
The US has launched an all-out war on crypto. The SEC is fighting hard alongside Elizabeth Warrenâs anti-crypto army.

Yes, this is real
But this wonât last forever. One day, crypto will likely thrive in the US.
And when it does, Grayscaleâs investment products - like $GBTC and $ETHE - will probably get converted to ETFs.
Right now, they trade at double-digit % discounts to the value of their underlying crypto.
But since we first wrote about them, the discount has narrowed significantly. If you took advantage of that, great job.
If not, itâs not too late. Weâve summarized the best opportunities in our new-ish Market Opportunities section further down.
Just remember:
The Bitcoin halving is around the corner (April â24)
Blackrock is launching a Bitcoin ETF
The crypto market can only be down for so long
⌠so:
a) donât fuck it up
b) donât sell your coins early, and
c) donât gamble all your capital on speculative coins that you think will 1,000X tomorrow.
Stick to the basics, safely maximize your ROI, survive, and occasionally swing for the fences when the opportunity arises.
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